Well, it sure has been a wondrous week. Nico is thriving, and we are flying back home to Wisconsin tomorrow morning. I have been in California for the past month and I certainly miss my husband and our son, Maximo. I know its been even harder for Migdiel since he has not been able to hold and see Nico yet. But soon enough!
Yesterday, on July 10, 2009, our beautiful son, Nicolas Mateo entered the world. Birth mom was scheduled to be induced but instead a c-section was chosen due to her difficulty with a vaginal delivery in the past. Neither she nor I was expecting this, so things happened very fast yesterday. Within minutes of her being in the OR, Nico was born.
Stats - 7 lbs even, 19.5 inches. He is doing very well, and we were discharged today, just a little over 24 hours later. Needless to say, I am exhausted, so I will post more within the next few days. We have been blessed!
Well we've had a few exciting days but no baby as of yet. Birth mom went into the hospital on Sunday, July 4th with some contractions and a lot of discomfort. She was sent home because she was not in real labor. The physician had said she could be induced later this week (when she is officially 39 weeks). She went back in today because of discomfort and spotting. She is going to see if she can be scheduled for induction either tomorrow or Thursday. It's a full moon tomorrow, so who knows? Maybe the old wive's tale that a full moon brings on labor is true. Only time will tell.
It does seem like the birth of our baby is eminent, but also so far away. It's one of those events that when it finally happens it will feel almost surreal!
I was really hoping that the next time I blogged it would be to announce the birth of our son. But alas, we are still waiting. I went to the OB appointment with birth mom on Thursday, 7/2. She is progressing nicely, fully effaced and 4 cm dilated. She is quite uncomfortable and really wants to deliver soon! The physician did a procedure called stripping the membranes, which often times help induce labor within 24-48 hours. So of course we have been very excited the last 2 days thinking the baby might make his arrival...but no such luck.
The baby is not officially due until 7/11/09. We have another appointment on Thursday, 7/9. If she makes it that long the physician has offered to induce labor, and birth mom has readily agreed. So we do have an end date planned...7/9/09!
The waiting has been hard and for so many reasons. We have been in the adoption process for a long time. A normal nine month pregnancy is one thing, but when a family is created via alternative methods, the wait can be excruciatingly long. A friend of mine is a documentary film maker and in one of his films, "Daddy and Papa" there is a great scene where one man is speaking with his partner about the frustrations of the adoption process. He speaks of all the extra hoops we as LGBT parents must jump. The paper work, the home studies, the reference checks, the background checks, the financial costs, etc, etc, etc. He says something similar to "you know, all of this really pisses me off. All straight people have to do is f#@k! and they get a baby!"
What I really want people unfamiliar to the process to know is that yes, it IS a long and arduous path to choose. Yes it is expensive. Yes it is difficult. Yes it is psychologically, physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausting. But if the process isn't a testament to the desire of wanting a family, then I don't know what is. So come on baby Nico, your two daddies are ready. We are ready with all the love, guidance and support you will ever need.
Well I survived the heat over the weekend. Spent a lot of time in the pool and I have the sunburn to prove it! Spoke to birth mom and she is doing well. Says she is tired and ready (SO ready) to deliver but no real movement or changes. We will go to the OB on this Thursday, and see what's happening. I am trying to keep busy. The hardest part is being away from my partner and our son. We Skyped last night and that made it better. That's it for today. Hope to be on here soon blogging about our new son!
VERY HOT WEATHER IS FORECAST FOR THE NORTH AND EAST BAY VALLEYS TODAY. AFTERNOON HIGHS WILL RANGE FROM 100 TO 107. This is today's forecast per weather.com. I am trying to pass time the best I can awaiting the birth of our son. I am staying at a friend's lovely home with a beautiful pool. I will definitely spend some time in the water today, but then what? It's too hot to go for a bike ride or hike. Hmmm, let's see. Delivery rooms in hospitals are air conditioned. Why don't we have a baby today!!!
In March of this year, we received a call from our facilitator that there was a birth mom who was interested in meeting us. We quickly flew to California and met her. We knew instantly that it would be a good match, and fortunately so did she. So here it is, June 2009, and I am back in California awaiting the birth of our second son.
We decided that since I am a professor who has summers off, I would be the logical one to come back and wait. Migdiel is back in Wisconsin with Maximo. This has been a very hard week, and baby isn't officially due for 2 more weeks! The reason I came early is that the birth mother looks like she might deliver a few weeks early, but of course, who knows!
Maximo was born in January 2005, but did not come home to us until January 2006, just a few days shy of his first birthday. Our life with him has been pure joy. He is an exceptionally bright, loving, and energetic young boy. He truly is the light of our lives.
Early in 2008, we re-examined living in the Bay Area, and knew that adopting a second child might heavily influence where we could afford to live. After completing grad school, we decided to begin the process of adopting baby number two. Guatemala was no longer an option since the U.S./Guatemala adoption process has been shut down. We signed with an adoption facilitator in northern California, but shortly thereafter we moved to Madison, Wisconsin to be closer to my (Steve's) family. We both took positions at the University of Wisconsin.
As long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a dad. After ending a 17 year relationship 6 years ago, I began to really focus on this dream. My previous partner was adamant he did not want children, and so finding myself single I was at a significant cross road in my life. Would I attempt parenthood as a single gay male, or would I risk entering a new relationship with someone who might not want children?
About one year later (in 2004), I decided to begin the adoption process. I signed up with an agency in the San Francisco Bay area and began the emotional roller coaster known as international adoption. Within 2 months I had received a referral for a beautiful baby boy from Guatemala. I was dating someone then, but it quickly became evident that he was neither interested nor capable of becoming a parent. I ended that relationship and set my sights on becoming a single father. However as fate often does, I met Migdiel. I joked with him on our second date that I was "7 months pregnant" because I knew I was reaching the end of the adoption process.
It is amazing how quickly Migdiel signed on. He became excited at the prospect of becoming a dad. And true to my predictions, we brought our baby boy, Maximo home 2 months later.
